Wedding part 1 – six months to go…

Marriage. For my partner and I, it’s a somewhat sudden shift in response to a much slower, subtler eight year transformation into the couple we are today. We shared a lecture theater, a few movies, some long conversations, a room, a house, and our lives. Now we are about to share a last name as well. So far our wedding journey took us from “yes” hurtling through engagement at breakneck speed. Everyone turned their attention to our plans, the next step, have you thought of this? Why don’t you get married there? You’re not running away to elope are you? Could you do that to your mother? So, we can expect grandchildren soon?’

Facebook doesn’t help; in fact the entire World Wide Web seems to know much of our engagement. It goes to no end of trouble in bombarding me with countless adverts for getting slim, photographers, dresses, pregnancy (it too assumes that babies come straight after marriage).
As I write to you, I’m lying bra-less in black sweats, carefully positioned with a black blanket sandwiched between me and the couch. I have an orange glow radiating from me; it’s brightening by the hour and will continue to do so for the next eight. The things we do for love, I guess. Well, that and a little vanity. I need people to be able to decipher from my skin and my dress.

Virtual dress shopping…

You could call me an unusual bride. I loathe fuss, I detest shopping, and I couldn’t think of anything worse than trekking the shops and facing bossy old women to pay an arm and a leg for an outfit I’ll wear once. Online shopping saved the day. In six months, I’m going to don the most fitted, ornate, and expensive dress I’ve ever owned and it is in a most unflattering colour of ivory.

Every time I try my wedding dress on; I get interrupted. I wait until my beloved goes out; I say a little prayer and suck my stomach in, then put the long flowing, lacy white, custom made sack over my head. Standing in the bathroom wondering if I can pull this outfit off and thinking to myself that I must remember to get some of that underwear that sucks you in in all the right places; I’ll hear the phone ring or a knock at the door. Hopefully this isn’t some awful sign; merely a chance to stop obsessing.

There have been many discussions about my footwear, I threatened to wear my jandals; it is going to be on a beach after all. Then I went a step further having some fun. Everyone drew back in outrage as I told them all I was going to wear beaded ribbon on my feet. I caved on this occasion and now have kitten heels, but I’m still going to stuff my jandals in my purse.

Run away…

Two of my dear friends have married this year. They went to the beautiful Cook Islands with a handful of family members. When one single exquisite picture emerged at the top of my Facebook page, it took my breath away. She was absolutely beautiful in her ankle length gown and her bare feet. Her body relaxed under the grasp of her husband as he dipped her back in a sweeping kiss. The Cook Island Sea lapped at their feet and provided the most perfect backdrop against the setting sun. My heart sang for them and everyone tittered messages of happiness to the lovely couple.

This is how my fiancee and I chose to announce our engagement in fact; a discrete photo on Facebook. We went to the middle of the city of Melbourne and snapped a close-up of our hands entwined with a backdrop of the river, bridges and the city-scape. The diamonds of my engagement ring glittered in the sun and hinted to friends what we had just done.


photo announcing our engagement

Foreign language…

I feel like I’m entering a brave new world with all this wedding business. There is even a wedding language bursting with acronyms that make a newly engaged couple’s head spin. I’m semi-fluent in French but that didn’t prepare me in the least for all this wedding-speak. This language is splattered all over wedding websites. If you can navigate (or ignore) the jargon, then the websites will prove invaluable (and free) planning tools. Here are a few acronyms to get you started:

MOB = Mother of the Bride
FOG = Father of the Groom
FH = Future Husband

Do’s and don’ts…

There are also minefields like the emerging trend of “Don’t save the date” where some people actually tell friends and family that they will not be invited. We announced that we would elope when we told of our engagement. There is the question of whether or not to do a gift registry, which can be anything these days. We opted for a rule of no presents, but said if you must then we asked to please consider the luggage limit. We’ve been around the world trying to find a honeymoon destination that suits our limited time and budget. Like the wedding itself, the honeymoon has so many options, and we want to make memories that last forever. Preferably happy memories at that!

So, where am I at right now in this wedding process? I’m amongst wedding magazines, online wedding sites, scouring flight deals, and desperately trying to remember the reason for all of this without getting carried away.


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